King Tuts aka. The Professional Dole Mite coming at ya from the Wah Wah Hut, the inside word on all the latest movie releases even before they come out, thanks to our friends at the pirate bay. Sports news and critics, cool movie clips, quote of the week, competitions, blogging tips and tricks, and not least the dole mite blog. Come on in and make yourself at home, the Wah Wah Hut can accomodate all. Have fun and play nice folks. If you notice any typos, it's because I will of probably canned some wine in whilst writing this!


Ursula Martinez is a 'genuwine' certified star, google her and watch some footage of her shows, absolutely amazing. I just had to put her on the homepage, she deserves more publicity, but unfortunately her performances tend to be for a more mature audience, otherwise I'd of given you a clip.

Ursula is a London based writer, performer and cult cabaret diva. She studied theatre at Lancaster University and began her career in experimental theatre, working with companies such as Forced Entertainment and The Glee Club. In the mid 90’s, she began performing solo on the London club / cabaret circuit and very quickly made a name for herself.

Martinez then combined her experimental theatre background with her cabaret experience. Together with collaborator Mark Whitelaw she produced A Family Outing, a highly original, autobiographical theatre show starring herself and her parents, which was a huge success at the 1998 Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Two years later Martinez and Whitelaw produced a second theatre piece entitled Show Off, which toured a number of international cities and festivals including Sydney, Edinburgh, Hong Kong, Belgrade, Budapest, and Lisbon. They created a third show OAP, which together with the previous two, forms a trilogy of work exploring self-obsession, identity and the artifice of performance. This trilogy, entitled Me, Me, Me! was presented at The Barbican in October 2006 as part of B.I.T.E.

Now an established international artist, regularly supported by the British Council, Martinez continues to produce live performance, both solo and collaborative, for theatre, cabaret, site-specific, installation and nightclub. Her latest piece, Office Party, is a collaboration with writer/comedian Christopher Green, and will premiere this December at The Barbican, London.

Martinez is an original cast member of the contemporary circus/cabaret phenomena La Clique and performs regularly for virtuoso variety vamps Medium Rare.

She is also an associate artist with iconoclastic performance provocateurs Duckie, with whom she created the smash-hit Olivier Award winning show C’est Duckie! Martinez has also made several short films including Oh Baby! (1997 Dick Award runner-up) and Venkel’s Syndrome, which premiered at the Berlin International Film festival and won the Silver Spike Award at the 2001 Valladolid International Film Festival.


DOG OWNERS - Never lose your TV remote control again. Simply cellotape it to the back of your dog, and hey presto! Whistle, and the device is at your beck and call! This can also apply to hot drinks, after intense training.

FEEL - a bit like God for the day by making some little people out of plasticine, and then judging them harshly.

TRAMPS - Avoid being constantly moved on, by sleeping outside department stores and telling the police you are simply queuing early for the sales.

CONTACT - lens wearers. Keep your eyes snug and warm this winter by adding a few drops of chilli sauce to your cleaning solution.

KIDS - Threading a piece of string through a ping pong ball and painting it brown is ideal for a fun game of conkers that conforms with the 1974 Health & Safety Act, section 52, paragraph c.

SMOKERS - Take a tip from tumble dryer users. Enjoy a crafty fag at your desk by attaching a flexible vent hose to your face and running it out of the office window.

HOUSEWIVES - Make the normally mundane task of switching the central heating on a little more exciting by singing 'The heating's on' to the tune of 80s hit The Heat is On by Glen Frey as you are doing it.

OLD PEOPLE - Save having to get a flu jab each year by not queuing outside the Post Office every Tuesday morning in the pouring rain an hour before it opens. They won't run out of money.

COURIERS - The address on the side of the carton holds many gems of information, for example, the name of the town as well as the street. because, believe it or not, there is more than one Chester Street in the country.

TAME - budgies and parrots easily by replacing their grit with iron filings. Then hold a large magnet, and they will sit happily on your hand for hours.